Someone once encouraged me to start my day with daily affirmations. Unsure of where to begin, I turned to the internet. I discovered countless affirmations—ones for recovery, Christians, self-esteem. Yet, for me, most fell short. They felt superficial, like empty promises from TV makeover shows declaring, “A New You in 30 Days!” My stomach churned as I read through them, unsure whether my reaction stemmed from the affirmations themselves or my personal state. Either way, they didn’t resonate.
Repeating phrases like, “You are enough,” “You are worthy,” felt patronizing. What I deeply desired was for someone to meet me in my mess and gently speak truth into my situation. Perhaps that’s why I connect profoundly with the story of the Prodigal Son. At its heart, it’s not merely about an extravagant son but about an extravagantly loving Father.
A Story of Extravagant Love
In the story, the younger son demands his inheritance early—a scandalous request equivalent to wishing his father dead. But because genuine love isn’t coercive, the father grants his request. With newfound wealth, the son leaves for a distant land, living lavishly until adversity strikes. When famine arrives, his wealth evaporates, his friends abandon him, and he ends up feeding pigs—an ultimate humiliation within his culture. In his desperation, even pig food looks appealing.
At rock-bottom, shame whispers, “There’s no way my father would have me back. I’ve disgraced him too deeply. I’m too far gone.” Shame always tries to convince us of our unworthiness.
Yet, desperation pushes him homeward, rehearsing an apology and planning to plead for a servant’s position. But while still distant, his father sees him, runs toward him, and embraces him before he can complete his practiced speech. “Bring the best robe,” the father declares. “Put a ring on his finger, kill the fattened calf—let’s celebrate! My lost son is found.”
A Father’s Love Isn’t Earned—It’s Given
The story doesn’t end with this joyful reunion. Inside, a celebration unfolds—not because the son earned it, but because of the father’s overflowing love. The younger son faces a choice: remain imprisoned by shame or embrace his father’s grace-filled love.
Outside, the older brother, diligent and faithful, hears the commotion and grows resentful. Confronting his father, he complains, “I’ve served you faithfully, yet you’ve never celebrated me.” The father gently replies, “My son, you’re always with me, and all I have is already yours.” Essentially, he tells him, “Your striving to earn my favor is unnecessary—it’s always been yours because you’re my son.”
Both sons were lost—one through reckless living, the other through tireless striving. Neither rested securely in their identity.
And that is precisely where the Father meets us today.
When Shame Speaks, Grace Tells a Different Story
If shame is weighing on you today, remember:
- Shame says you don’t belong. Grace says you’re welcomed, never rejected (Ephesians 1:5-6).
- Shame insists you must earn a place in God’s family. Grace says you already belong (John 1:12).
- Shame declares love must be worked for. Grace affirms you’re already chosen (1 Peter 2:9).
- Shame claims God is disappointed. Grace reveals He joyfully runs toward you (Zephaniah 3:17).
- Shame implies you’re barely tolerated. Grace declares you’re fully restored (2 Corinthians 5:17).
- Shame demands proof of your worth. Grace assures that God already affirmed your value (Isaiah 43:1).
- Shame says God’s love depends on your actions. Grace assures His love is rooted in His character, not your deeds (Romans 5:8).
- Shame says you must labor endlessly for God’s favor. Grace invites you simply to enjoy His presence (Luke 15:31).
- Shame says you’re behind and should be further along. Grace gently reminds that healing is a journey, not a race (Philippians 1:6).
- Shame says you must have all the answers. Grace reassures it’s okay to be uncertain—God walks with you in the unknown (Psalm 32:8).
- Shame says your worth depends on impressing others. Grace says being present is more valuable than performance (Galatians 1:10).
- Shame says feeling overlooked means you’re unloved. Grace whispers that even unseen, you’ve always been deeply loved (Isaiah 49:15-16).
In moments when shame tries to bind you, cling to grace—the grace that seeks you, embraces you, and reminds you who you truly are: fully known, fully accepted, and fully loved.
Rest in Grace
So, when affirmations feel hollow, when shame tells you that you’re not enough, when you feel like you have to earn your place—remember this:
The Father is already running toward you.
You don’t have to prove yourself. You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to strive.
You are already loved. Already chosen. Already His.
And that is the only affirmation that truly matters.
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